Sundaes with Nero
by R4v3n Kn1ght
Summary: (Or 5 People that Hate Ice Cream, and the 1 Person that Loved it Too Much) A crewmember's surprise birthday party brings about bad memories for some of its attendees. These are their stories on how and when they lost their love of ice cream, and how one ended up loving it! [Kirk/Spock slash]
1. The Set-Up

**Author's Note:** _This is another completely absurd fic and is not to be totally taken seriously. I'm not even sure where the idea came from. Either way, I hope everyone enjoys it. Somehow this morphed into a 5 & 1 type of fic – a type I never thought I would be doing, nevermind for a topic like this one! Be kind and leave a review on your way out! Thanks. ~ RK _

**Sundaes with Nero**

It was a very important day aboard the USS Enterprise, and not because it was a day the crew was to make first contact on a new planet, or a day in which they had to dress in their stifling, but stylish uniforms in order to welcome delegates aboard the ship. It was much simpler than that, and so much more fun!

Today was Pavel Andreivich Chekov's eighteenth birthday!

Everyone on alpha shift organized a surprise party in the main mess hall, which was much harder to do when Chekov was part of the alpha shift. It involved many sneaky coded verbal exchanges, random messages sent to each other's padds, and sometimes completely unrelated topics of discussion to throw the teenager off the scent. There was one time that Chekov was inquisitive about something, when Sulu accidentally mentioned the guest of honor. With some fast thinking, and the most charmingly convincing smile he could muster, Kirk made up the first thing that came to mind.

"Admiral Pike and a member of the Vulcan High Council are going to stop by at our next stopover for an inspection."

Chekov was confused. "Ve already have inspection, sair. Before ve depart for mission, yes?"

If Kirk's eyes widened, no one said anything. "Well, when the Vulcans are ready, they have requested us to escort them to their new homeplanet." Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Spock's slanted eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. To cover his surprise, Spock swiveled his chair as though something very interesting came through his monitors.

However, Chekov was not entirely satisfied. "And this varrants a second inspection?"

Kirk nodded. "Yep. Gotta make sure our future passengers are comfortable on the journey there."

Chekov seemed to accept this answer and turned back to his console…

…while Kirk got out his padd and furiously sent Uhura a message to put everything else she was doing on hold to contact Admiral Pike and Ambassador Selek of Vulcan – or as he preferred to think of him "Sugar Daddy Spock," since he found out that an older alternate version of himself had managed to hit that, which could be stretched to him hitting that…if only the older Vulcan would be game for it, because he sure would, since his Spock seemed to disregard any attempts at flirtation he'd come up with since the Lip-Lockers ended their Liaison five months ago! – inviting them to the party on the pretext of an inspection.

Everything was arranged, and to keep the ruse up, everyone decked themselves in their dress uniforms anyway as Admiral Pike and Ambassador Selek somehow miraculously arranged to make it to the Starbase just twelve hours before the Enterprise did to pick them up. Talk about great timing.

There was small talk and general merry-making all the way to the main mess hall between Pike, Kirk, Spock, and Selek. Spock had taken the liberty of scheduling Chekov on the shift that the party started so that he would have to hurry up, get dressed, and head to his own surprise party. Kirk was proud of Spock for it.

"Thank you for including me in these festivities, Jim. In my own timeline, this sort of gathering had been organized for Doctor McCoy by my own Jim." He saw the glint in Kirk's eyes. "He was not receptive to it." The older Vulcan had the look of one lost in a memory. "That is, he was not until Commander Scott began to serve the alcoholic beverages."

"That was his job for this, too!"

"I am relieved that some things are constants, no matter how insignificant they may seem."

Pike watched the exchange with interest. He was well aware who Ambassador Selek was. And he was always interested to get him with his younger counterpart, just to see which similarities they shared, and where they differed.

"I apologize for inconveniencing you, Admiral, due to the captain's ill-thought excuse to Ensign Chekov."

Pike laughed and waved a hand at his former student. "Shut up, Spock. This was going to be my ship and crew before I ended up in this chair, and went blue in the face to the rest of the Admiralty to gi." The older Vulcan had the look of one lost in a memory. "That is, he was not until Commander Scott began to serve the alcoholic beverages."

"That was his job for this, too!"

"I am relieved that some things are constants, no matter how insignificant they may seem."

Pike watched the exchange with interest. He was well aware who Ambassador Selek was. And he was always interested to get him with his younger counterpart, just to see which similarities they shared, and where they differed.

"I apologize for inconveniencing you, Admiral, due to the captain's ill-thought excuse to Ensign Chekov."

Pike laughed and waved a hand at his former student. "Shut up, Spock. This was going to be my ship and crew before I ended up in this chair, and went blue in the face to the rest of the Admiralty to give _my_ ship to Kirk, here."

"May I ask why you did not recommend me as your successor?"

Pike gave him an odd look. "And leave Kirk your first? It's better this way. You'll keep him in line, whereas the other way around he would have been convincing you to break every rule there is."

Selek spoke before Spock could reply. "I'm sure he still does that as captain."

Kirk just laughed.

Spock watched him.

Selek and Pike watched them both.

The four situated themselves quickly at a table close to Scotty's makeshift bar, a table that had been reserved for the group by Leonard McCoy.

Only two hours later, Chekov arrived with Sulu on his heels, both dressed in their stiff uniforms, to be received by an enthusiastic, "Surprise!" and a seriously tone-deaf group rendition of the timeless song 'Happy Birthday'…in Russian! The look on the young man's face was of childlike wonder mixed with the blush of embarrassment. If their Russian was mangled, he didn't even care.

It was Uhura who came from who knew where with a large platter, and a radiant smile. "Happy Birthday, Pavel!" Then, everyone got to see what was actually on the platter. "I know you like ice cream, sweetie, so we had the galley make this giant ice cream cake!"

While Scotty looked almost as excited about the ice cream cake as he did about Scotch and sandwiches, the five men at the table closest to him all looked like they were about to faint. "Alright, now. Is there somethin' ya have against ice cream cake?"

The first to find his voice was Kirk, "Not ice cream _cake_, Scotty. Just ice cream."

Scotty looked mortified. "What's wrong with ice cream?"

It was Bones that looked angry rather than sick or sad as he growled out, "Lots."

Scotty just poured everyone another drink, then he sat down among them at the table. His ice cream cake slice could wait. "Spill it, gentlemen."

While Selek had long grown accustomed to these kinds of phrases, Spock was still adjusting. "For what purpose would you give everyone a drink only to instruct us to spill it?"

"He means talk about what our issues are with ice cream, hobgoblin!" Kirk saw the tiny smile on Selek's face as he tried to hide it behind the rim of his glass. He wondered if Spock would ever smile like that. He looked at Spock and realized that it may take him a long time to be that free with his feelings. He thought that was a shame.

"I shall share the story of my dislike first, if that is acceptable."

"By all means, old friend," encouraged Kirk. After all, he'd been there for some of it.

**End Note:**_ Leave a review on your way out! More to come! ~ RK _


	2. Spock Prime

**Author's Note:**_ Here's part 2. Enjoy, all! ~ RK _

**Spock Prime**

Selek set his drink back down on the table and folded his hands together elegantly. "I had long grown to enjoy ice cream in my later adult years. It was a favorite among my many friends aboard my own Enterprise. However, recent occurrences have made me forever associate the dessert with unpleasant memories."

Pike was interested. "Recent in your own timeline or in this one?"

Selek raised an eyebrow at the alternate version of his first captain. "This one. Allow me to elaborate."

McCoy was paying attention. "Please do."

"When I came through the black hole, I did not expect to remain alive. Since my mission to remove the threat of the supernova from Romulus, it was unnecessary to bring provisions – food and that nature. The mission was to have only taken several hours at maximum. Therefore, I was stranded in a timeline not my own, with no additional clothing, with no way to make a living for myself, and with nothing that would sustain my life. In other words—" He glanced meaningfully at Spock. "—I had no place in this time." Spock ducked his head. Selek knew then that his younger self had dealt with the same childhood taunts that he did.

"Then," he continued, looking at each member of his audience in turn. "I was captured by Nero."

"Didn't we already here this?" McCoy grumbled into his bourbon.

Selek pinned him with his gaze. "The section that I neglected to include in the official documentation is as follows, if you would care to pay attention, doctor."

McCoy glared. Selek glared right back at him. Kirk was amused beyond words. Spock decided he could learn something about dealing with McCoy if he watched his elder alternate self.

"As I was saying, I was captured by Nero. My ship was confiscated by the Romulans, and I was bodily taken to their holding cells…"

_Ayel and Nero stood outside of the transparent forcefield that separated them from their captive. Ambassador Spock stared at them impassively. "We have big plans for you, Spock!"_

_Spock simply sighed. He was old – this he knew. He'd heard individuals of countless species make similar speeches throughout his long life. How whatever had befallen them was somehow his fault, or Kirk's fault, or Starfleet's fault. It was never their own fault. He was, quite frankly, growing tired of being blamed for the problems of the universe. _

"_We're on our way to Delta Vega. Do you know it?" _

_Spock tilted his head in an unspoken, "Of course I do, you blabbering Romulan!" _

"_It's your homeworld's neighbor, isn't it? Well, I think it would make a lovely vacation spot for you." Ayel cackled next to Nero. What an odd little lackey this Ayel was. "Nice and frigid for the heartless Vulcan that let my people die!" _

_This was getting tiresome. _

_Spock ignored his captors and decided to meditate. He'd long learned how to accomplish this with his eyes remaining open. It was a technique he'd often used around Doctor McCoy's loud and stress-inducing rants. Compared to Nero, however, Doctor McCoy's bluntness and at times over-enthusiasm was something he deeply missed. _

"Aww, thanks, Ambassador."

Selek allowed an indulgent smile. "You are most welcome, Doctor. After a long meditation on my part, my cell was opened and I was taken to their transporter."

_A rather strange-looking Romulan approached him, a huge and heavy garment draped over one arm. He unfurled it dramatically before reaching around Spock to wrap him clumsily in it. Spock realized that it was a fur-lined harsh winter climate coat. Delta Vega was snowy in this universe? He didn't remember it being so in his timeline. Or was this a trick by this Romulan? _

_Nero punched the Romulan in the jaw, sending him to the deck. "Did I tell you to give him a coat?" _

_The Romulan choked out a reply. "You do want him to watch before he freezes to death, don't you?" _

_Nero stopped in his motion of drawing back another fist. "Yes! Yes, I do!" _

_Spock realized that it must not be a trick. Hmm. Interesting. _

_Then, Nero turned to Spock. "Ayel! Bring the respected Ambassador our farewell gift." Ayel took only a moment before he appeared with a large container. It was sealed shut. Nero took it and then unceremoniously shoved it at Spock. "Some rations for your stay on Delta Vega. I hope you enjoy the show." _

_Then, Spock was pushed by Nero onto the transporter pad. "Now! Get this Vulcan bastard out of my sight!" And the last thing he saw before he found himself on the snowy, wind-ridden terrain of Delta Vega was the slight look of pity in Ayel's face. _

"At least they were nice enough to give you rations on that planet," interrupted Scotty. "I mean, when I was shipped there, they barely gave—"

"Scotty!" shouted Kirk. "Wait your turn! This is Selek's story."

"Thank you, Jim."

"No problem," beamed Kirk, with a big, encouraging smile. Spock just stared at the captain, wondering why he could never coax a look like that from the man, while his older counterpart only had to say three words to receive it.

Pike didn't miss Spock's expression.

_Spock looked around and did not see much of anything that could adequately serve as shelter. He explored briefly and without much enthusiasm, carrying his rations from Nero. He wondered if this inhospitable planet even _had_ food! He suddenly thought of Sarpeidon. But he doubted that there would be a Zarrabeth that came from the snowstorm offering them shelter and food. _

_He sighed in a completely unVulcan way and rolled his eyes upward, when he noticed something terrible. _

_Vulcan. _

_It was collapsing. _

_Spock's heart went as cold as the wind and snow stinging his face. _

_Vulcan – and all of its people – were dying, and all because of him. _

Selek sighed. Kirk reached toward the older Vulcan's folded hands and closed his fingers over them, steadying the trembling with his strength. He knew the Vulcan was still overwhelmed with guilt, even after all of the sleepless days and nights that he had put into the effort of helping his people attempt to return to normalcy. Kirk rubbed his thumb over Selek's fingers.

Spock stared in shock. Surely Kirk had no idea what his gesture meant to a Vulcan!

_He closed his eyes against the tears forming, and turned away from the now empty place in space where the planet Vulcan _should_ have been. There was nothing left but to find some sort of shelter. After walking for what seemed like hours, he saw in the distance a structure. It seemed to be an outpost. At least there was still an outpost on the planet! That was a hopeful sign. _

_But, for now, his energy was gone. He would not make it to that outpost with the little energy he had left. Much closer than the outpost he saw a very promising cave. Mustering himself, Spock clutched the container to him and walked to the cave. Once far enough into the structure, and out of the biting wind, he settled and finally opened his container from Ayel. _

_Inside he found only four items. _

_A bundle of fuel sticks. _

_An igniter. _

_A spoon. _

_And a rather large container of ice cream. _

_He had warmth and food. It was more than he'd expected from Nero. _

_Until he read the label: Bacon Ice Cream. _

_Spock realized the cruelty of Nero's so-called gift then. The Romulan had to have known that it would be a tantalizing food ration – meat. Something he could not consume. It was apparently Nero's plan to force him to starve to death. _

_With a sigh, he dug out a small depression, and firmly planted the ice cream in it. If he got desperate enough, he would most likely eat it. Best to keep it cold. Someone may find it one day and want it. _

"Wait, you can't eat meat…at all?"

"I had only eaten meat once, and it was when I had been sent backward thousands of years in time, where my mind regressed into the primal instincts of my ancestors."

"So, wait, how many timelines have you—"

"Damnit, Jim, shut up!"

_But he had warmth. He lit a fuel stick. Seconds after it had successfully caught, he heard shouting. Terrified and desperate shouting. He rose and went to investigate. It was a gigantic beast whose tongue was curled around the leg of a human male. Determined not to be responsible for another death that day, Spock charged forward, waving his fuel stick at the behemoth! It retreated, and Spock turned only to be rendered motionless and breathless. _

_Lying on his back, panting from exhaustion, was someone he'd never hoped to see in his lifetime. "James T. Kirk." _

Selek glanced at Kirk then, who cleared his throat and nodded seriously. "I guess that's my cue." Kirk then took over.

**End Note:**_ Thanks for reading. Hope everyone's enjoying this insanity so far! Leave a review on your way out! ~ RK _


	3. James T Kirk

**Author Notes:** _And now, it's Kirk's story! Enjoy, everyone! Leave a review as you go! No flames, please. Thank you! ~ RK _

**James T. Kirk **

"So, there I was on Delta Vega, having been caught by the leg by this giant thing!" He gave an I'm-so-awesome grin to Admiral Pike. "I decided while running away from it to name it the _hengrauggi._" Pike shook his head. "Anyway, so the hengrauggi's got me by the leg and I'm kicking and screaming and trying to punch the thing's _tongue_, and nothing's working until Selek—" Kirk flashed the older Vulcan a look of near worship. Spock convinced himself he was not jealous, not at all. "—scared it away like a caveman – which is funny since we were both in a cave, you know? – with his fire-weapon! And I was starving! Running your ass off from two big-ass monsters on an ice planet will do that to you!"

_After the introductions and shock had worn off from both Kirk and Spock, they were setting themselves up in a deeper area of the cave that the Vulcan had recently claimed as temporary shelter. "Do you need help with the fire?" _

_The old Vuclan's expression may have been sufficiently described as grateful and nostalgic. "I would like that. I was never permitted to mind the fire on my excursions in the…past." _

_In only moments, an adequate fire had been constructed and ablaze by the human. Both of them began to settle themselves in front of it, Kirk tending it, while Spock was trying to explain his situation to him. But, all Kirk kept complaining about was that he'd left his supply bag somewhere…back there. Outside. And there was no way he was going to hunt it down with the crab/squid just waiting to eat him by the cave entrance. _

"_I have some sustenance. It is not much, but it will likely due for you." _

_Kirk looked at his savior, who was about to be his savior again. "I'll take anything right now. I'm just so pissed off at that pointy-eared bastard." Then he realized to whom he was speaking. His face lost all anger immediately. "I'm sorry. Spock. I'm so pissed at Spock." _

"_For what reason are you made discontent with Spock?" _

_Kirk looked at him, trying to figure out _how_ the jerk that marooned him here could possibly be in this gentler and by far nicer Vulcan in front of him. He had no idea. But he knew it had to be. The eyes were the same – different only in the amount the pair in front of him had been forced to experience – but they were the same. _

"_It is remarkably pleasing to see you again, old friend, regardless. Especially after the events of today." _

"Captain, were you aware at that time that the Ambassador and myself are the same person, though separated by divergent timelines and significant age?"

"Weren't you listening?" snapped McCoy. "Or did you miss the part where he told us that Selek introduced himself to Jim right away as 'I am Spock'?"

Kirk shook his head at their banter. "I knew, but I didn't quite believe him yet. That came a little later, after I told him that Spock dumped me on the ice-box of the universe without much thought since he was so anxious to have me off the ship."

Selek noticed that Spock blushed and lowered his head, seemingly ashamed and regretful of that action.

"I was convinced of who he was when he…um…" Kirk contorted his right hand oddly.

Selek took mercy on him. "I mind-melded with you, Jim." Spock's head shot right up.

"Yeah, mind-melded. He showed me all about his mission in his timeline and how he was here, and…_everything_. That's when I believed him."

Spock was fully glaring at Selek. "You forced a mind-meld on my captain?"

Selek simply raised an eyebrow, making a mental note that Spock had finally begun to use the possessive when he spoke of Jim.

"_Forgive me. Emotional transference is an effect of the mind-meld."_

"_So you do feel." _

"_Yes." _

"_Going back in time you changed all our lives." _

_Spock approached the still shaking human, and gently grasped him by the shoulders, turning him slowly. "Please. The warmth of the fire may recover your strength." Kirk let himself be guided by the Vulcan back to his perch. "In my own timeline, the Jim Kirk that I knew would often employ the use of comfort food when under stress. Does this methodology apply to you, as well?" _

_All Kirk was able to do was barely nod before he grimaced by the unsteadiness the motion cause in him. The Vulcan took his hand and stuck something in his palm before closing his fingers around it. He was holding a spoon. What?_

"_I hope you prefer ice cream." _

_Kirk managed a smile. "I love ice cream." _

_Spock nodded. "That is fortunate." When he turned around, he was holding a snow-dusted container of ice cream. Then, Kirk saw the label. _

"_Oh my god! It's bacon? I _love_ bacon ice cream!" With the excited bouncing of a young child, Kirk waited while Spock opened the lid and held it out to him. Kirk wasted no time in snatching it from the Vulcan and diving right in! "This is sooo good! Thank you!" he somehow said around a mouthful of bacon ice cream. _

"_I am pleased it has proven useful." _

"I can't believe you ate that crap, Jim!" exploded McCoy. "That has to be the most disgusting flavor of ice cream ever invented in the history of ice cream."

"Oh, I dunno, there, Doctor McCoy," put in Scotty. "Have ye ever heard of Raw Horseflesh Ice Cream?"

McCoy looked about ready to vomit. "Good God, man, are you serious?"

"Raw Horseflesh Ice Cream is actually of Japanese origin, and regionally known as basashi, which came from the delicacy of raw horse flesh sushi," supplied Selek. "It seems, doctor, that you stand corrected."

McCoy stared at the older Vulcan in horror. "That's disgusting!"

"Okay, back to the bacon kind!" resumed Kirk.

_He was shoveling the ice cream into his mouth with increasing anger. "I almost wish this was Spock – my Spock!" He stabbed the spoon into the ice cream again. "I'm just getting the frustration and anger out. Not even taking the time to enjoy this!" Kirk had gotten about halfway through the container before Spock interrupted him. "It may behoove us to attempt to make the journey to the outpost." The Vulcan stood. _

"_Wait," said the human, holding out the container and the spoon. "Aren't you having any?" _

_Spock shook his head. "I am not. I am unable to eat it." _

"_What? Why?" _

"_I do not consume bacon. Naturally, bacon ice cream is unacceptable." _

_Kirk's brow furrowed. "Did you eat before I came here?" _

_Spock shook his head. "I did not." _

_Then, Kirk grew suspicious. "Did…Do you have anything to eat for yourself?" _

_Spock recognized that look even in a younger, alternate Jim. "I do not." _

_The pieces began to come together. "Wait, are you telling me that that asshole dumped you on this planet, with no food?" _

"_I was given food." _

_Kirk waved the spoon in aggravation and dismissal. "No, you were given something you could never eat! Was it his plan to make you starve?" He threw the spoon into the snowy ground of the cave, the utensil sticking up where it landed. "That sick bastard! What if I never came? Would you have eaten it then? If there was no other option? Would you eat this?" Then, he realized the likelihood was high that the Vulcan indeed would have eaten it. "Oh my god, you would have eaten it! I just ate your only food!" _

_Kirk shot to his feet, plucking the spoon from the ground on the way, and came at the Vulcan with surprising speed. "Take your food back!" _

"_No, Jim. I will not consume this." _

"_But you're old and valuable. You need to eat something too to make it to this outpost, right?" He shoved the ice cream container and the spoon at Spock. _

"_I assure you I have recovered my energy." _

"_Bullshit! Everyone needs to eat to have energy! Take the ice cream!" _

"_Negative." _

_Kirk huffed. "Just take the damn ice cream." _

_Spock backed up. "I will not. It would be put to better use if you would eat it." _

"_I ate most of it!" _

"This argument went on for a few minutes, actually. I thought Selek was going to punch me in the face."

Selek shook his head. "I would never use a closed fist." He then was lost in thought. "I did, however, once backhand my own Jim. I was not myself. Regardless, the force of my backhand sent him over a conference table and to the floor."

"Wow!" admired Scotty.

"Remind me not to piss you off," mumbled McCoy.

"You used a closed fist, didn't ye, Mister Spock?" Spock looked at Scotty in alarm. Clearly the Choking Incident on the Bridge was remembered by everyone that had seen it. "Nearly strangled the captain, ye did." Spock looked at Kirk, his respiration not normal. He was stunned to find compassion in his blue eyes.

"Obviously I'm fine, Scotty. No harm done."

"So, what happened after?" asked Pike.

_Spock was leading Kirk across the landscape of Delta Vega. The snow had grown thicker – like a dense fog – and the wind was stronger. On Spock's insistence, Kirk was carrying the bacon ice cream. They were climbing up a steady incline. "It is just over the crest, Jim!" called the Vulcan. _

_Finally, they reached the top. "Okay, so, almost there!" Kirk panted. _

"_Indeed," came the answer, the voice sounding tired. Then, the old Vulcan began down the hill, firmly planting his feet with each step. _

_Until he planted one on solid ice. _

_Kirk watched in horror as his savior slipped and fell down the majority off the hill. "Spock!" Without thinking, he threw the container of ice cream aside and scrambled down after the Vulcan. He wasn't moving much where he'd finally stopped. "Spock!" He flung himself to his knees in the snow. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" With overwhelming guilt, Kirk realized that the Vulcan would not have slipped and fallen if they'd just left the damn ice cream behind in the stupid cave. He would've been able to help him!_

"_I am well." Kirk helped him to his feet. After regaining his balance and footing, the Vulcan realized that both of Kirk's hands were steadying him. "Jim, you have lost your favorite ice cream." _

_Kirk looked livid. "Screw the ice cream." _

"Ye were both right there!" wailed Scotty. "I woulda taken it off ye, sir."

Pike shook his head and took a long drink. "Well, I wouldn't have taken it."

"Alright, sir," said Kirk. "What's your story?"

"It's not a pleasant one, kid, but here it is." Then, Pike began.

**End Note:** _Next up: Christopher Pike. Thank you for reading! ~ RK _


	4. Admiral Christopher Pike

**Author Notes:** _Definitely the most twisted part of this whole thing. I have no excuse, but you will all survive. Happy reading. Leave a review as you go! No flames, please. Thank you! ~ RK _

**Admiral Christopher Pike **

"Now, like Selek here I didn't share everything in the official record of my time with the Romulans aboard the Narada."

_Only thirty minutes had passed since he'd been force-fed a living _slug_. A slug. That was definitely a new one for him. He'd been drugged on missions before, but never had he had something large and living shoved in his throat that he expected to swallow and help it into his stomach. Unless bacteria counted. Or an injected virus. Neither of those had been great fun either, but he'd survived. _

_A squirming slug, though, was a whole other beast. _

_Nero had come back to where he'd been strapped down to the table, the water under his feet sloshing. Pike found it rather…odd…that the Romulan did not bring any guards with him, nor did he carry a weapon. "Hello, again, Christopher. It's been brought to my attention that I have been a poor host." _

_Yes, definitely odd. _

_Nero came very close to him and began to undo one of the straps binding him to the table. "In order to make up for my lapse, we've organized a little dinner party for you as our guest of honor." _

_What? Pike couldn't keep the confusion off his face if he'd tried. _

"_I know this contradicts with my previous treatment of you. I wish I could say sorry about the slug, but…I'm not, not really." All of the straps were gone. Pike tried to sit up quickly, but found himself flopping back to the table with a graceless thud. "You may feel a little motion sickness. That's the slug." _

_Nero studied him. "Would you rather we just move the party here so you don't have to travel?" _

_He responded before he could help it. "I don't want to go anywhere with you."_

_Nero smiled. It was not an attractive smile. "I see my little slug is working. Good." He stalked over to a comm device and smacked it hard. "Ayel, we're moving the party to Christopher. He's not feeling sturdy enough to travel far." _

_He didn't even wait for the reply. Instead, he prowled over to a much smaller table and played with several objects on its surface. Pike tried to turn his head to look, but was a little dizzy. "You know, Christopher, I was thinking that once I destroy Earth you won't have much of a home, will you?" _

_Again, his reply was quick. He simply could not help but respond. "I suppose that's true." _

"_So I've been thinking about how or what I can do that would make you feel a little more at home here among us." Nero turned around and Pike saw that the Romulan was holding a strange and rather demonic-looking device. "Know what this is used for?" _

_Pike shook his head. "No." _

"_This is a tattoo inscriber. Everyone on my ship have them. We've used them since our planet was destroyed to visually display our grief for those we've lost. It is an ancient tradition on Romulus – an painted symbol of love and loss. Usually, we would only use paints and dyes that would fade over time, but when our planet was destroyed and we were found in a time long past and before our own…well, we decided that our grief needed to be a little more permanent. We died with Romulus when it was destroyed, and so our grief will go on and it will never fade." He casually loaded the inscriber. "You're probably wondering why this is being shared aren't you?" _

"_Maybe just a little." He tried not to squirm. _

"_Because once Earth is destroyed, your grief will also never fade. You will never have a true home again." Nero came close and leaned into Pike's personal space. He turned on the inscriber. "You'll be just like us." _

_Pike stared at the inscriber as Nero slowly brought it close to his head. _

"You didn't get this tattoo. I know; I examined you!"

Pike sighed, his momentum halted. "I know, McCoy. But this part leads right into the relevant part about the ice cream."

"Go on, Admiral," encouraged Spock. "I am curious about this."

"You would be, Spock." Taking another very long drink, Pike resumed.

_The dinner party and everything that went with it had taken a few minutes but it had been moved to the area where Pike was being held. It was the arrival of several crew members and some of the food items that aborted Nero's near-tattooing of Christopher Pike. _

_Pike, from his reclined position, heard Ayel shouting from a ways off. "Why do we have to relocate? I just want my damn sundae!" _

"_Okay!" Nero roared. "You just want your sundae! Is everything set up?" His crew gave the affirmative that everything was prepared. "Then, everyone sit down and let's do this!" _

_Pike was officially confused now. He never would have thought that Romulans were big fans of ice cream. But it seemed that these Romulans from the future…well, they were a strange bunch of coconuts. He sat up successfully this time. But Nero was right there in his face. "You will tell me the frequencies, sir!" _

"_No, I won't." _

_Nero began strapping him back onto the table. "Then, there's no ice cream for you!" _

_Pike actually was a little relieved about this. So much so that he managed to mumble, "Shove your ice cream." _

"_If you insist, captain!" A second later, several Romulans had gathered around his table, each of them holding large bowls in their hands, and staring at him oddly. Then, at a signal from Nero, and in unison, all of the gathered Romulans began to shovel the ice cream into their mouths. Pike was certain that no one else had had the privilege to witness this spectacle! After several minutes of enduring this terrifying sight, complete with some mouthfuls of their ice cream dripping onto his table and clothing, Nero began to speak again. "Like our tattoos, ice cream is a major item in Romulan culture. We eat it when we are nearing victory in battle – typically the eve before a battle we are confident in winning." _

"_Like counting your chickens before they hatch," Pike whispered. _

"_I don't know what a chicken is, nor do I care, Christopher," growled Nero. "The point is, we will easily destroy Earth just like we destroyed Vulcan. We are preparing for our impending victory!" _

"Are you serious?" exploded Kirk. "You made that up!"

"Were you there, Kirk?" replied Pike testily. Kirk shook his head. "Then, you have to trust me on this one! I couldn't make this up if I wanted to!"

"Sorry, sir."

"As I was saying, I was just staring at Nero in stunned silence. But then he got up in my face again, and practically spit his ice cream in my face…"

"_Frequencies, please, Christopher?" _

_Without even realizing he had done it, and due to the persuasion of the slimy-slithering-sickening slug in his system, Pike blurted out the security frequencies instantly. _

_Nero was stunned. He was so surprised that his mouth fell open and his most recently shoveled spoonful of ice cream fell out of his mouth and landed right next to Pike's left cheek. It was absolutely disgusting. _

"_Well, Christopher. Thank you!" Then, he pointed his spoon at Ayel. "Did you hear them?" He received a nod. "Go put them into the system so this will be over quickly!" Ayel scurried away. _

"_You can have your reward now," Nero said to Pike. He snapped his fingers at the nearest Romulan, who presented him with the biggest bowl of ice cream Pike had ever seen in his adult life. "Open wide, captain." _

_Pike clamped his lips shut. There was no way he was going to open his mouth. He thought he'd gotten out of this a moment ago. Apparently, he was wrong. _

_Nero looked frustrated. "I'll try terminology you may better understand. Captain, request that you open the docking bay doors!" _

_Pike looked at Nero like he was a person gone insane! But he was not falling for it. Nero nudged the spoon against his mouth, but Pike did not part his lips. Nero sighed. "Fine. We'll do this like the slug." _

_He signaled to his crew. They repeated the same process from before – when they forced Pike's mouth open and dropped a living creature down his throat. Only this time, it was ice cream. Pike fought feebly just as before, but his struggles were useless against bindings and three Romulans bent on forcing him to eat ice cream. _

"I am terribly sorry that you had to endure this treatment, Admiral," offered Selek. "That is most distasteful and humiliating."

Pike only sighed before taking another drink.

It was McCoy who spoke for him. "You have no idea."

_After about forty-five minutes of this so-called dinner party on the Narada, Pike became aware of a few things. _

_That he was feeling a little sick…and was feeling continuously sicker with each subsequent spoonful of ice cream shoved in his mouth. They had been feeding him for almost a solid hour now. His abdomen was beginning to feel painful. This was definitely not good. Not good at all! _

_Nero and the other Romulans were still greatly enjoying themselves as they kept their party going. Ice cream bowl after bowl after bowl. Pike's stomach cramped just watching them. How could someone possibly eat that much ice cream? It was disgusting! _

"And…how long were you required to endure this?"

"Far longer than any sentient being ever should, Spock."

Spock began to look a little ill himself.

_It must have been hours later…Pike lost track of time after a while. He felt like he was about to explode. And really explode, too. His head was swimming, he didn't feel like he could move if he wanted to. That is, until he heard an intercom blare through the gigantic ship, but he was so sick that he could barely focus on the words the Romulan. "Starfleet…ship…one of them is Vulcan." He had a moment of relief, and closed his eyes. He heard Nero and the other gathered Romulans quickly leave the area. _

_He opened his eyes again when he felt someone working on the straps holding him down on the table. He was shocked when he saw Kirk. "What are you doing here?" _

"_Just following orders." _

_Then, he saw two Romulans appear behind Kirk, who was unaware of them. He knew it was now or never. Either force himself to move despite the pain, the nausea, the cramping, the bloating...or only have these symptoms increase, get a tattoo on his head, and be force-fed ice cream until he died. Using the very last of his energy, he flung himself forward, grabbed Kirk's phaser and quickly killed the two Romulans. _

_Then, experienced an incredibly awkward moment that he hoped Kirk didn't notice. _

"What happened?"

Pike cleared his throat and held his glass up to his lips as he quickly muttered, "I farted," before he hurriedly took a long drink.

"Ohhh…"

McCoy's head hit the table with a groan.

_Almost immediately after Kirk managed to haul him from the table and shout, "Enterprise, now," Pike felt the odd sensation of the transporter…It never felt odd before. But given the circumstances he was in now, it was definitely an odd feeling. _

_When he materialized back on the transporter pad, it happened again. Except much, much worse. This time, something other than gas came with it. Pike grabbed onto his right side, and hoped desperately that Kirk didn't notice. And if he did, he would have enough tact not to mention it. He began to panic when Kirk started looking around everywhere. He knew, he heard, he saw, he _smelled!

_He barely heard Kirk talking, or Scotty yelling._

_He did, however, see Doctor McCoy come rushing into the transporter room! He was so happy about it. It was like walking to his savior as he was passed from Kirk to McCoy's steady grip. Kirk and Spock quickly ran out of the room, hopefully toward the bridge where they could keep things going on _his_ ship. _

"_My God, Captain, are you alright?" _

"_No!" _

"_What happened!?" _

"_A slug!" _

"_No, I meant, what did they do to you – you smell like you've been gutted." _

"_They fed me ice cream almost the whole time." _

_McCoy groaned. "My God, sir, you're lactose intolerant!" _

_Pike groaned as well. "I know!" _

"You're lactose intolerant?" Kirk asked. "I didn't know that."

Pike looked a little self-conscious. "Not many people do."

"I'm…I'm sorry, sir."

"Captain, why should you apologize for a condition affecting Admiral Pike? You were not responsible for his contraction of it."

The look everyone gave Spock was a mixture of surprise and confusion. "Contraction, Spock?" asked Pike.

"As a doctor, I can tell you, Spock, that you don't just _contract_ lactose intolerance!"

Silence.

"Understood, Doctor." Spock turned to Pike. "I apologize for your experience."

McCoy slammed his glass onto the table. "But not mine? Because let me tell you, my experience once Jim brought him back was no picnic! I haven't seen anyone that full of ice cream since Jim woke up by himself after an apparently hot and kinky night with Carol Marcus!" He caught the death-glare Kirk was giving him, and he hurriedly switched gears. "Honestly, I never had to wear a particle respirator mask before in my operating room until that surgery. No offense, Admiral."

Pike waved a dismissive hand. "None taken."

McCoy took a deep breath. "Well, now that I'm on a roll, I might as well share my issue with ice cream, right?" Everyone nodded to him encouragingly. "Alright, here goes."

**End Note:** _And things will get serious for a bit next chapter. It's Doctor McCoy's turn. Thank you for reading! ~ RK _


	5. Doctor Leonard H McCoy

**Author Notes:** _Bones's story is not crack-worthy at all. Things get serious here for a bit. Leave a review as you go! No flames, please. Thank you! ~ RK _

**Doctor Leonard H. McCoy**

"It's a little unbelievable how everything happened, actually."

"Have you ever told me this story, Bones?"

McCoy looked at Kirk with an odd expression. "No."

Kirk clapped his friend on the arm. "Alright. Let's hear what made my medical friend lose his love of ice cream."

McCoy took a deep breath. "I had just finished my first year medical exams. And I'd been so focused on them that I forgot something very important."

_"Just pick up a good flavor and meet me at the house." Leonard was shouting into the voice pickup of his earpiece comm device. He was trying to drive his beaten up aircar from the exam building, his nerves getting worse and worse with every passing minute. "She just had her tonsils taken out. She feels better when she has ice cream." _

_He rolled his eyes as he wound his way through the slight congestion of vehicles. Most of his fellow classmates were also trying to rush home…or to the nearest bar to get themselves so drunk they wouldn't care if they passed or failed their exams for one night. But Leonard McCoy had something much more immediate and important to take care of. _

_His little girl, his little Johanna, was turning seven. _

_And he'd promised her ice cream._

_"Damnit, Louis, will you please just help me this one time?" Sometimes his brother was a real pain in the ass. "She didn't want a party this year. She's a little self-conscious about the tonsils." He sighed as he pulled out onto the express lane. "She just wants her mom, me, and her aunt. Yeah, I'm sorry. She forgot you, but I'm inviting you now!" Louis was talking for an unusual amount of time. "A dark colored one. I don't know. Pick something that looks fun. She's a kid. They eat anything." He nodded. "Thank you!" _

_He hit his device and ended the call. "Ass!" he mumbled to himself. _

_Then, he saw in front of him a rather frightening sight. Two aircars collided. He brought his own vehicle to a lower speed. In only another moment, he was stuck in traffic. Some things couldn't even be solved after a few centuries. _

"Who's Louis?" Kirk asked. "You never mentioned him."

McCoy was frowning. "My brother."

"I was unaware that you have a brother, doctor."

"I don't anymore in my mind. Not after this."

Everyone had been expecting a sort of funny-afterwards type of story. But by McCoy's body language, one by one, everyone gathered at the table was slowly beginning to think otherwise.

Kirk looked at his best friend, nervous and concerned all in one. "Go on, Bones. What happened?"

_"Maggie, I'm running a little bit late. Louis is getting Johanna her ice cream." He never liked to give his wife bad news, especially when it involved his daughter. "What do you mean you aren't home yet? Where are you?" He bashed the back of his head against the headrest. "You're still in the office?" He sighed. "Where's Jo? Is she with your sister?" The answer was quick. "Fine. Okay. I'll go there, then. I have to stop at the house, first, since I thought we talked about it being there." He clenched his jaw. "Yes, I listen to you, baby. I just forgot." _

_Finally! Traffic began to move. "Listen, I gotta go. We're moving again." He nodded, though he knew she couldn't see him. "Okay, see you soon." _

_The call was ended and he put all of his concentration and effort into getting to the house to pick up his daughter's present. He'd taken her to an orchard a few weeks ago, and she'd tasted her very first peach. In his daughter that was all about pink ribbons, stuffed alligator plush toys, and dresses…she clearly took after her mother. Until he saw the look on her face when she ate her first peach. It was the first thing he saw of himself in his little girl. And so, he went back to the orchard between classes, hunted down the best peaches he could, and bought them for her. One for every year of her age. He had seven peaches for his girl. _

_He hoped she liked them. _

"I always wondered why you were so adamant about the peaches, McCoy," mused Pike aloud.

"My own Doctor McCoy was excessively fond of peaches. Jim had designated an entire supply cabinet for their storage."

Kirk smiled at Selek. He liked the idea. Depending on how the story ended, he might have to take that idea from his other self. It was thoughtful. He was sure he'd be able to have it arranged. He glanced at his first officer. And if he couldn't, then Spock certainly could.

_The door opened and he was greeted with the exasperated face of his sister-in-law. "Leonard, she's been wondering where her daddy is." _

_"I know I just got stuck in the express—"_

_"Daddy!" came the shout from the hallway. He heard her running feet before he saw her. He just barely had enough time to shove the pink gift-bag at Loraine before he crouched down to just the right height. _

_"Jo, honey!" His dark-haired, green-eyed baby leaped into his arms, and he stood up as she smashed into him. _

_"Hi, daddy!" She smiled at him. _

_"How's my girl feeling today?" he asked. _

_"Better." _

_"Lemme see." She shook her head. "Come on, Jo, open up." With a giggle, she opened her mouth as wide as she could. He shifted so that the light shined just right so he could see. "Good healing so far." _

_She giggled. "Not playing doctor today." _

_"Okay, no doctor." _

_She flung her small arms around Leonard's neck and rested her head on his shoulder. "Know what today is?" _

_He rocked side to side. "Well, it is Friday today." _

_"Not what I mean!" _

_"Well, it's soup day today. We have soup every Friday." _

_"No, daddy! What's today?" _

_"Other than soup day and Friday?" He clicked his tongue. "I don't know, Jo. What is today?" _

_"Daddy!" She tried to glare at him, but her angry face looked something more like a duck trying to figure out how to swim. "It's my birthday!" _

_"Is it your birthday? Well, sweet potatoes, it is! How old are you?" _

_"Leonard!" scolded Loraine from behind them. He ignored her. _

_But Johanna was fully laughing now. "I'm seven!" _

_Leonard pretended to be shocked! "Seven! You can't be seven. You're too grown-up to be seven. I think you're fourteen, at least." _

_"You wouldn't pick me up if I was fourteen!" _

_He frowned. "Well, you might get a little taller, I guess." In his mind, Johanna would always be his little girl, even when she turned fourteen, grew taller, and lost her childish features to become a woman. She'd be beautiful. But she would still be his baby girl. His little Jo. "You sure you're not fourteen?"_

_She nodded. "Yep. Seven!" _

_He sighed dramatically. "Well, that's good news, because I only got you seven presents." _

_"Seven presents?" Her eyes lit up in excitement. "Can I have them?" _

_Leonard chuckled and kissed her cheek, before he set her down on the big armchair. "Alright. I have to go get them back from Aunt Lori." He jogged back to his sister-in-law, who had just opened the door for Louis. He snatched the pink bag from her, glancing to make sure his brother actually did what he'd promised. "Thanks, Lou." _

_"Leonard!" Loraine hissed, trying to get his attention. _

_"I'll just dish this out, right?" _

_Leonard nodded absently, his attention on the present for his daughter. "Yeah, just get that going. Thanks." _

_Loraine grabbed his arm as Louis disappeared down towards the kitchen. "Leonard, I have to talk to you." _

_"It's gotta wait for a second, okay?" _

_"No, Leonard, it can't wait." _

_Leonard rounded on her. "What is it?" _

_"It's about Maggie." _

_That got his attention. "What's wrong?"_

_"Leonard, everything's wrong. Maggie…she's sleeping with your brother. She has been for a long time." _

No one said anything this time. No one interrupted McCoy. The doctor himself was barely even aware that he had an audience anymore. No one knew how to react to their friend's tale. They all watched as the man got lost in his memory, ready to stop him if things looked like they were taking a much sharper turn for the worse.

_He didn't know how long he'd stared at his sister-in-law, how long it took him to process it. But the sound of the door opening jarred him back to reality. Maggie had walked into the house, and she looked a little disheveled. Leonard stormed directly to her. "Mag, we gotta talk." _

_"We'll talk later. Where's Johanna?." _

_"You're sleeping with Louis?" It was the first time he'd ever spat his brother's name. She froze and then slowly met his gaze. "Are you?" _

_"This isn't the time for this." She began to step around him. _

_He grabbed onto her upper arm and yanked, causing her to face him. "No, we're talking about it now. How long has this been going on?" _

_She made a strange sound – something of a mixture between a laugh and a choke. "Let go, Len." _

_"Tell me how long, Mag!" _

_"I don't have to—"_

_"Don't you fucking—" _

_"—where I go, or who I'm with!" _

_"—ignore me this time! How could you just—"_

_"Just leave us alone!" _

_She freed herself from his grip on her arm and flew backwards into the wall, the sound of her body hitting it seemingly deafening. Leonard froze as he stared. She completely transformed. She was furious. Maggie pulled herself to her feet. Before anyone knew it, Louis was at her side. "Come on, Mags." _

_While Louis helped her to stand, Maggie glared at her husband. "I can't be here with _you, _you bastard." She righted her clothing with jerky movements before lunging for the door and opening it. _

_"Are you walking out?" The answer he received was an even more irate glare. He couldn't do this passively. "Go ahead! Walk out! Leave on our daughter's birthday! Be a good mom and leave your kid!" _

_"Daddy?" _

_Louis followed after Maggie. "I hate you!" Leonard screamed at the back of his fleeing wife. But Louis turned around. Leonard didn't even see his brother's fist coming at him, until he was lying on the floor from the punch, staring at his daughter. _

_In an instant, he forgot his pain. He didn't feel the pain in his jaw. He didn't feel his heart breaking over Maggie's betrayal, of Louis's betrayal. _

_He only heard one thing. _

_He heard Johanna struggling to breathe. _

"Was it a panic attack? Did she hear you guys fighting?" Jim was looking at McCoy with compassion, but the other man was staring into his drink.

"She couldn't have not heard that." He sighed. "It was something much simpler. She was having an allergic reaction."

Suddenly, the panicked behavior of his best friend when he was having a bad reaction to food or medication made much more sense to Jim. "Bones, I—"

But McCoy didn't seem to hear him. "I dropped all the peaches when Lou hit me. All I saw was Jo."

_Before he even knew he'd done it he was out the door with his daughter in his arms. He put her in the aircar and took off. He'd never driven the vehicle so fast in his life. "You'll be fine, Jo. Daddy's here, and I've got you. You'll be fine." _

_He heard her wheezing in the seat next to him. _

_The comm device in the aircar dinged. "Computer, open call." A pleasant ding followed his command, letting him know the line was opened. "What?" _

_"It's me." Loraine. "The only thing she could've reacted to was the ice cream." _

_Dread filled him as he glanced at his daughter, practically seeing her airway constricting. "What kind did that asshole give her?" _

_"Leo, it was peanut butter and chocolate." _

_If Louis had been in the aircar at that moment, Leonard was sure that he would have had a dead brother a moment after Loraine said that sentence. "Okay," was all he could snarl between his clenched teeth. Everyone in the family knew Jo was allergic to peanuts. Everyone!_

_He had to calm down. He had to be calm for Johanna. He took a deep breath through his nose, then let it out. "Almost there, baby. Just nod at me. Can you still breathe?" He looked over and saw her nod. But her wheezing was getting louder, the effort it took for her to breathe was getting too labored. _

_"I'll let you know what's happening, Lori." _

_He'd arrived at the hospital. "Come on, Jo. Hang on, now." He picked her up out of the aircar and ran into the building. _

"They treated her kind of fast considering most parents that just bust in with their kid are making a much bigger deal about something small." He gave a self-deprecating laugh. "I guess when you're working in the clinic of the place you bring your kid, they pay a little more attention."

Everyone wanted to know if Johanna was alright. No one asked the question. If she wasn't alright, they didn't want to set the doctor off. They all waited for him to gather his thoughts.

"I took her home a little while after coming in, and…I tucked her in bed. She was still a little worked up from it." He sighed. "Then, she came into Jo's room and asked me to come into the hall."

_"I want a divorce, Len." _

_He was no longer angry. He couldn't even bring himself to be angry. If he fought her on it, she would just keep screwing his brother. He saw the look that she would do it clearly on her face. Could he live like that? No. "So do I." _

_"But I want our daughter." _

_He shook his head. "No. Where were you just now when she couldn't breathe because your lover gave her peanut ice cream and she went into anaphylactic shock? Were you at the hospital? Because I didn't see you!" _

_"Just stop, Len. Stop." She rolled her eyes. "You're a med student. What would you do with her while you're in class? Take her with you?"_

_"And where's she gonna go when you're in the law office? Go with _you_? There's not much of a difference there." _

_"I'm going to get custody. The house is mine anyway, and you don't have a place. You're still paying off school, so how could you support her? I have a steady job and a house. I'm going to get custody." _

_Leonard's stature deflated at the argument. He walked away and into their bedroom before she could see him begin to cry. Packing his clothing barely took as much time as he almost wanted so that he could get himself under control. Some things he didn't even bother with. "Leonard, don't you dare come back to this house." _

_"I won't. I can't even look at you anyway, Maggie. Not now." He was about to just walk out of the house, but he hesitated at the door to his daughter's room. Being as quiet as he could, he set his bag down and slowly opened her door. _

_"Daddy?" she called him from the doorway. He went right to her, sitting on the side of the bed. _

_"Yeah?" _

_"I never got your presents." _

_He bit his lip. He'd forgotten about the peaches. They were still at Loraine's most likely. "I forgot them at Aunt Lori's." _

_"Oh." She looked at him with hopeful big eyes. "Can I get them tomorrow?" _

_He tried his best to turn his sob into a sigh. "Yeah, baby. Tomorrow." _

_Johanna reached out and took her father's hand. "It's okay, Daddy. Everyone forgets things sometimes." She smiled at him, and Leonard's heart broke. _

_"You should get some sleep, kiddo. You had a busy day today." _

_She yawned. "I know. Busy." _

_He stroked her hair. "Come here. Gimme a hug." _

_Even though she'd just yawned a moment ago, she flung herself upright and threw herself at him. "Goodnight, baby girl." _

_"Goodnight." She yawned again. "Love you, Daddy." _

_He kissed her hair and held her tightly against him. "I love you, too, Jo. So much." _

Everyone at their table didn't move, and they certainly didn't speak. Something this personal demanded quiet respect, and they were going to give it. While they were thankful that McCoy was comfortable around all of them that he could share this memory with them, they were also beginning to understand their friend and colleague in an entirely new manner. They were beginning to understand why he was the way he was.

_Leonard found himself on his sister-in-law's step again. The door opened. She instantly took in his broken posture and his single bag. "Oh, Len. I'm so sorry." _

_"Can I stay with you for just a day or two?" _

_She nodded. He walked into the house. He saw that she was trying to clean up her house. He made his way into the kitchen and saw sitting there on the table a pink bag and seven peaches. They were remarkably okay. They would bruise and soften in a day or two, but they would definitely still do. He put them all back in the bag, and adjusted the little card on the bag. He looked at what he'd written on it. _

'Love you, baby girl. Happy Birthday. 7!

'Daddy'

_"Len?" He heard Loraine's voice behind him. "Will you be okay?" _

_"Yeah," he said out loud, but he knew the real answer._

"Lori had to give Jo her present. I couldn't go to the house. I send her them every year for her birthday through Lori. I know Jo gets them because I always get a holo of her with them." He took a long swig of his drink. "And the funny thing is, I send her them every year, but…I don't even know what my own kid sounds like. I've never spoken to her. Never. Some dad I am."

Jim almost said something, but Spock grabbed the human's forearm, successfully distracting him, and preventing him from speaking.

"And the bitch…my ex-wife…always, _always_ makes a point to send me holos of Jo eating ice cream. Every single time."

No one knew what words of compassion or solace to offer McCoy.

Until one of them spoke.

"Doctor, I may not share your experience precisely, but I do sympathize with your situation." It was Spock. "I, too, possess an unpleasant memory involving ice cream. It also involves a relationship that has now been sundered. Perhaps my sharing it will…lessen the burden of isolation that you must be feeling."

McCoy didn't look like he believed Spock, but he nodded regardless. "Sure, Spock. Go on. It might help us both."

"Very well," said the younger Vulcan. He exhaled and then gained a little strength from taking a breath.

**End Note:** _One last serious chapter, and then it gets much less serious again. Thanks for reading. Leave a review! ~ RK _


	6. Spock

**Chapter Note:**_ Last serious chapter before it gets silly again. Enjoy, everyone! ~ RK _

**Spock**

"From my earliest voyages from Vul—" Spock choked on the name of his home planet that no longer existed. "When I was young, I would, at times, accompany my parents when my father's diplomatic responsibilities required him to journey to Earth. My father would attend the meetings, assemblies, and sessions while my mo—my mother and I would be left to our own devices. On my first voyage I was too young to explore on my own. My mother was occasionally rebellious of my father's preferences in the method with which I was to be raised." He looked to his older counterpart, wondering if these were similar circumstances that they shared. He received a barely perceptible nod. "It was on this first occasion that my mother introduced me to a human food item called ice cream."

_San Francisco was filled with people that day. It was warm for Earth, but nearly as warm as Vulcan. Spock was suddenly aware of his alien status – even as he walked beside his mother – when he received numerous odd looks from the countless humans he passed. While the people around him wore clothing that revealed an alarming amount of skin, he wore several layers of clothing, to the point that the only skin he displayed was his face and hands. _

"_Mother, may I enquire as to our destination?" _

"_I told you, honey, it's a surprise." _

"_I do not care for surprises." _

_His mother's laugh was free. Spock knew it was because his father was not with them, and she felt she could re-embrace her humanity completely when on Earth. Because here on this planet, her husband was the alien, and she was the native. Typically, it was the other way around. Unfortunately, Spock was always the alien. _

Spock halted in his narrative when he saw the strange expression on Kirk's face. It was not pity. He realized that it was an expression of pain. "Captain, are you well?"

Kirk nodded. "Yeah." He offered a small smile, but it was lacking its usual brightness. "Keep going with your story."

"Very well."

_His mother began to slow down as she neared a tiny little shop. It had an obnoxiously decorated window. The words 'Chez de Pâtisserie: avec Café et Crème Glacée' were printed on the garish window. "Here we are, sweetie." She approached the door and it slid open as she neared. Spock stood just outside of the door, shivering as the cold air conditioning hit him. His mother turned around and held out her hand. "Come on." _

"_It is cold, mother." _

_Her expression was encouraging. "We have to order inside, but as soon as we get our treat we'll come right back outside." _

_He was still reluctant to go inside. "Is it required that we go inside?" _

_She sighed. "Yes." _

_He did not budge. "I do not understand the language that is printed on the window. What sort of establishment is this?" _

"_Spock, would your mother ever take you somewhere that is dangerous to you?" _

_He was alarmed. "It would be cruel and irresponsible if she did such a thing." _

_She was smiling now, having grown used to her son's way of expressing himself. "And am I cruel to you or irresponsible about your well-being?" _

_His reply was instant. "Negative. You care for me with diligence and an unusual amount of affection." _

"_Then you know that this is a place that you can feel safe going to." She held out her hand again to her son. "Now, stop stalling and come in." _

_He did not take her hand, but stiffened in a way that he'd seen his father do when he was uncomfortable with a situation. Mustering enough dignity and determination, Spock walked into the frigid shop._

"I'm not up on my French, gentlemen, but, what does that all mean?" asked Scotty.

Spock opened his mouth to reply, but it was Kirk that spoke first. "It means 'Pastry House' sort of. The rest of it said that it sold coffee and ice cream, too." Kirk looked at Spock as though challenging him to correct his translation. Spock did not.

"Ah, so yer mum took ye to a pastry shop? That I'd like te see."

"I've been to that place. Best coffee I've ever had," contributed Pike. "I might have a coffee later and pretend."

"I might join ye, Admiral, if ye don' mind."

"By all means!"

"While you two arrange your date, I'd actually like to hear Spock's story," grumbled McCoy.

"Thank you, Doctor." Spock continued over the Engineer loudly protesting McCoy use of the word 'date.'

_His mother translated the French menu items as her son deliberated over what he should order. She refused to allow coffee – he was too young to drink it. She was not about to encourage even a decaffeinated version just in case Spock liked it too much. Instead, she subtly guided him toward a different area of the menu. After a moment of instruction, Spock approached the counter boldly. _

"_May I order a…crème glacée?" _

_The young man on the other side of the counter stared at him. "Quel genre, petite monsieur?" _

_Spock did not like this shop. Why did his mother take him here when he clearly did not understand the language used within? He had no choice but to look to her for assistance. "What kind, honey?" _

"_I do not know what they offer." _

"_Well," she said as she looked up at the menu. "They have chocolate, which you will never have until you reach maturity—"_

"Wait, why can't you have chocolate?"

Spock sighed. He was rescued by his elder self. "Jim, the sucrose level in chocolate, particularly the mint variety, is highly intoxicating to Vulcans."

Kirk's eyes widened. "You mean you get drunk off chocolate?"

Selek's eyes twinkled. "Precisely. I learned this through experience. While my Jim was mildly amused by the shift in my temperament, it is not an experience I would wish to repeat."

"Too bad," Kirk whispered. "Could be fun."

"God, Jim, shut up."

Kirk laughed at the nauseous look on McCoy's face. "Go on, Spock. Sorry to interrupt."

"—_so no chocolate for a while. There's vanilla, strawberry, blackberry, peach, pomegranate, apricot, coffee-flavored – another one you will not be getting today, cherry, peanut butter, raspberry—" She had been glancing at her son with every flavor to see if any sparked his interest. _

"_Raspberry is one of your preferred flavors, mother." _

_She smiled at him. "Yes, it is." _

_Suddenly, Spock was shy. "I have never tasted raspberry." _

"_Would you like to?" _

_Still with his eyes on the floor, Spock nodded. "Affirmative." _

_He felt his mother place her hand between his shoulder blades. He would never tell her so, but he enjoyed this contact. "Monsieur, nous voudrions deux tasses de crème glacée de frambroise."_

_The young man nodded. "D'accord, madame." _

_Spock watched as the payment was completed, all while his mother conversed in French with this young human male. In only another three point seven minutes, a small cup was placed in his hand and he was given a small spoon. "Merci, et au revoir," his mother said, and then led him from the chilled environment of the little shop. _

"_I promised you we would eat this outside. Let's go find a bench or a park." _

"_There is a park located one point three two miles from our present location, provided that we travel to the southwest." _

_His mother shook her head. "Well, lead on. You might know where everything is, honey, but you need to learn more French." _

_Spock did not argue, and stepped ahead of his mother to lead their way to the park. _

"Raspberry ice cream is delicious," murmured Scotty. "Yer mother had fine taste."

Spock nodded. "Yes, she did." He became quiet for a moment. But that moment lasted long enough for his listeners.

"Spock," spoke up Kirk. "I thought you don't like ice cream anymore."

"I do not."

Kirk tilted his head. "But you did at one time. What made that change?"

"I was twelve, and had made a small error on one such instance when I had accompanied my parents to Earth."

"What happened?"

"My mother had once stated that treats such as ice cream were often consumed when one had an event or accomplishment that he or she wished to celebrate." He gestured to the party taking place. "Such as this event." He cleared his throat. "However, as will likely be the case for the duration of my life, I am the exception to various physiological restrictions. You see, I had never had the concoction until I was much older."

Kirk chuckled. "But you were still a kid, not an adult."

"But I was much older than an infant or an embryo."

It was the way he said the sentence that made the grin disappear from Kirk's expression. Even Selek was watching in curiosity. Suddenly, Kirk wondered if they were all about to hear a story that the two did not have in common.

_Since their arrival on Earth, his mother had been staying in the hospital. As soon as they had disembarked from the transport vessel, she had fainted. He knew his father would never admit it, but he had been frantic with worry. Spock had been instructed to contact medical assistance, and – despite his protestation – then sent to their sutie in the Vulcan Embassy. He had remained there since, attempting meditation, and failing. _

_However, now, his father was standing over him. "Your mother and I have information for you, Spock." _

_Spock, now twelve, looked up at the stern face of his father. "What is it, father?" _

_Not being a person to delay when something needed saying, or the type of person that found any merit in stalling or avoiding the blunt facts with a semi-related tangent, Sarek announced it simply. "Despite assurances and several examinations that indicated the unlikelihood of your mother and me producing a second offspring together, you must prepare yourself for a sibling." _

_Spock stared at his father for a moment. "Is my mother pregnant?" _

"_She is. It is most unexpected, but not unwelcome." _

_Spock stood from his place of meditation. "Have both of you returned from the medics?" Sarek nodded. "May I see mother?" _

_Sarek simply stood aside. Spock left his room and sought out his mother, finding her eventually, reclining on the sofa that was placed directly in the sunlight. "Mother," he greeted her quietly, not knowing if she was indeed sleeping or resting with her eyes closed. _

_Her eyes slowly opened. "Hi, honey." _

"_I offer congratulations on your incubation period of your offspring. May it result in an infant with both strength and health." _

_There must have been something amusing about his sentiments, because his mother laughed quietly. "Thank you, Spock." _

"_May I ask when my sibling will be brought forth?" _

_She managed to both smile and frown at him. "He or she will be born in a few months." _

"_That is an imprecise response." _

"_Pregnancy isn't always precise, Spock." _

_They were quiet for a long time. _

"I was not fortunate to enjoy the company of a younger sibling. My older half-brother and I did not share a considerable amount of contact while he was alive."

Kirk took in this information, knowing he wouldn't get much information than that from Selek, and instead looked to Spock. "Do you have an older brother, too?"

"I do not know if Sybok still lives. He had departed from home many years before I left for Starfleet."

Kirk nodded, his own thoughts going inward. Spock did not know why his answer caused such a response from Kirk, but he took advantage of the silence and continued.

_The small family had been on Earth for one month due to a political issue in which Sarek was participating that required them to remain. His duties frequently removed him from his wife's company. However, Spock was determined to ensure his mother's comfort and to keep her company when his father could not. It was on one fateful evening that the quiet contentment of their family was shattered. _

"_Mother, am I mistaken that on Earth it is customary for humans to celebrate by consuming ice cream?" _

_His mother lowered her old-fashioned bound book and looked at her son. "No, you're not mistaken. Many humans celebrate all kinds of things with ice cream." _

"_Will you provide me with examples?" _

"_Sometimes just for fun, like when we had your first ice cream." Spock nodded, fully recalling the event. "Sometimes humans will have ice cream when they celebrate birthdays, or weddings, or graduations, winning a sporting event." _

_He interrupted her. "Does an impending birth qualify?" _

_She smiled. "It could." _

_His mission was nearly complete. "Mother," he began slowly. "May we engage in the human custom of celebration to commemorate the event of your gestation with the consumption of ice cream?" _

Admiral Pike was chuckling to himself. "I've heard of people having ice cream for some interesting reasons, even just-because, but to celebrate someone being pregnant? That's a new one, Spock."

"My mother did not object," the younger Vulcan replied. Then, his entire demeanor changed. "Though perhaps, in that instance, she should have."

He was surprised but oddly comforted when he felt warmth on his back between his shoulder blades. He did not need to look to know that it was Kirk.

_Spock sat on an uncomfortable chair in the waiting area of the hospital. The staff and other people in the waiting area were giving him odd glances. Some pitying, some confused. Every time a doctor or nurse came out of the doors through which his mother had disappeared on a gurney, Spock stood from his chair. He was growing more and more nervous, more and more worried. _

"_Spock?" a doctor called. _

_Spock stood. "I am Spock."_

_The doctor approached him slowly. "Is…is your father here?" _

_Spock shook his head. "He is not. He is attending a session at—"_

"_I need a way to reach him." _

_Spock was unused to being interrupted. It was simply not done on his planet. Everyone was allowed to finish their sentences. Even those that were distasteful. For a doctor, this man was rude. "I have the contact information for his personal aide." _

"_I'm going to need that information, son." He held out a padd and stylus to the young Vulcan. _

_Spock was displeased at the doctor's use of the word 'son.' He quickly wrote the required information on the padd with the stylus. When he handed the stylus back, the doctor turned from him. "What is my mother's status?" _

_The doctor did not turn back. "We'll wait for your father." _

_Spock reclaimed his uncomfortable chair. He did not even realize that he had fallen asleep there until his father's authoritative voice loudly addressing the very same doctor that had briefly spoken to him. "She who is my wife is being kept from me. I demand to know your reason for such action. In what condition is she?" _

_The response froze Spock in his seat. "Your wife has suffered a miscarriage." _

_Spock couldn't breathe. This was all his fault…_

…_he must have poisoned her…_

…_and when his father turned to face him, it was clear that Sarek had come to the same conclusion. _

"Spock, people don't miscarry from eating a little ice cream." McCoy was talking quietly, trying to be comforting. He appreciated the effort the man was putting into his words.

"But my mother did. And it was all because I insisted on observing a purely human custom."

The hand on his back was moving, the thumb rubbing small circles into him. "Spock—"

"I have been the cause of so much pain in my family. My existence is shameful."

"Stop, Spock."

But he didn't even hear Kirk. "I was constantly in physical conflict with my classmates. It caused tension between my parents. I was incapable of displaying affection to my mother. I am aware that this had hurt her. I was unable to control my emotions and passion for my father. This was always unacceptable. I am just as Stonn has always claimed: neither Human nor Vulcan, with no true place in this universe."

"Spock, look at me."

Spock's breath was coming quickly, shallow. "I murdered my unborn sibling, and I could not save my mother. I do not fault my father for his refusal to speak with me. I deserve his dislike."

Suddenly, there was a hand cupping his cheek, and it turned his head toward its owner. "Damnit, Spock. Shut up and listen to me." Kirk's other hand came up and framed his face. "You are _not_ responsible for any of that. Yes, you're a hybrid. Yes, your mother had a miscarriage. Yes, your father has some seriously stupid issues about his own family. But they're his problem to work through, not yours. N_one_ of that is your fault."

"Jim—"

"You might not be all Vulcan or all Human, and that's okay. That's more than okay. Because you are so unique. There's no one else like you. You're a living example of how two opposites can come together to make something beautiful."

Spock was barely breathing. "That is true. My mother was required to visit numerous fertility clinics in order to have me."

"See? She wanted you. And your father had to have wanted you, too, if they both worked that hard for you." Spock was silent and stared at Kirk, who softly laughed to himself.

"And I know you. You couldn't hurt anything maliciously if you wanted to. You value life too much to be a murderer." Spock remembered that he did not want to offer Nero life, but he realized that Kirk wasn't counting that. "Your mother's miscarriage was not your fault. They just happen sometimes, and no one can really control that. And I know she loved you, just as much as you loved her, as much as your father had to have loved her enough to marry her."

Spock shook his head. "Jim, I—"

"I'm not done." Spock shut his mouth. Jim took a deep breath. "You said you always feel like an alien." Spock nodded slowly. "I know what that's like. I'm not human and something else like you, but…I…I know what it's like to want somewhere to belong. Somewhere to call home, right?"

"Yes," he whispered.

Jim took a deep breath. "And you know what? I think I found that here. In Starfleet, on this ship. Just look around you." Spock was about to, but Jim's hands cupping his jaw did not allow it. "This is my family now. And that includes you. You have a place in this universe, Spock." He offered Spock a shy smile. "With me."

Spock's exhale was shaky. His emotions were out of control. "Jim."

Jim's expression was nervous. "Yeah."

Spock moistened his lips with his tongue. "I quite agree."

Jim's nervousness disappeared, and his reaction was immediate. He surged forward, pulling Spock to him, and joined their lips. Spock took one of Jim's hands from his face, and curled his first two fingers around the human's index and middle finger, kissing him in his own way.

Neither of them noticed that they were suddenly alone at their table. However, their table companions were still relatively close by on the other end of the makeshift bar. They all were watching with pleased expressions.

But none more pleased with this development than Selek. "I believe it is safe to leave my younger self in Jim's capable hands."

"'Bout bloody time, if ye ask me," muttered Scotty. Everyone nodded their agreement.

But it was McCoy who was losing interest in his best friend kissing the life out of his first officer. He needed something to distract him. "So, Scotty, you're the only one we haven't heard from yet."

Scotty nodded. "True, doctor. But ye see, I'm mighty fond of the stuff." There was a half-melted bowl of ice cream from someone putting it on the bar during everyone else's story. He didn't care who's it was. Scotty picked up the spoon and began to eat the ice cream soup. "Would ye like te hear about why I like this delectable food so much?"

McCoy laughed. "Well, we've all had our say on why it's awful. Only right you tell us why it's so great!"

Scotty began his tale even as his was spooning more of it into his mouth.

**End Note:** _And now back to the fun times. It's Scotty's turn. Leave a review on your way out. Thank you for reading! ~ RK _


	7. Montgomery Scott & Epilogue

**Chapter Note:**_ And here's the final installment. Scotty's story, and then a bit of a wrap-up. Enjoy, everyone! ~ RK _

**Montgomery Scott & Epilogue**

"I suppose, gentlemen, that ye might consider me more an ice cream addict than anything."

"You, Scotty?" McCoy couldn't help saying. "An addict? Never!"

"Aye, an addict." Scotty pointed his licked clean spoon at the doctor. "But I think after this ye'll know why!" He looked at everyone, but pointedly avoided Pike. Sometimes he wondered if the Admiral would have had the same reaction considering. "After the, uh…incident with Archer's beagle…He threatened to ship me off planet. Let's say I wasna very happy 'bout that. Ended up being dragged off outta the Admiral's office 'bout it. Got drunk that night, an' ended up causin' a bit of a scene. Ended up at medical, and the next day I learned I was being shipped to Delta Vega on Admiral Archer's order."

"Why does everything come back to that place?" wondered Pike.

"I do not know," answered Selek.

_He was lying on a biobed in Starfleet Medical. A doctor was standing at the foot of his bed and he was telling him something, but the injured Scotsman could not focus on the words he was saying if his life depended on it. He was too busy staring at the medical student jotting notes down on her padd from his bio-readout above his head. _

_Distantly, he heard the words "broken jaw" and "surgery…fine" and that was it. He assumed the doctor was telling him that the jaw surgery he was pretty sure had happened while he was unconscious had gone just fine. But, honestly, he couldn't care all that much. _

_Until the cute little blonde nurse giggled and said a very important sentence to him. "So no foods like sandwiches for you until you're off your new temporary diet, lieutenant commander." _

_No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't articulate his shock and horror at that statement. _

"Do ye know the agony of just wantin' a sandwich and bein' told ye can' have one?" He didn't even wait for McCoy, Selek, or Pike to answer. "It's torture, I'm tellin' ye. Torture!"

"Can you back up for a second, here, Scotty? Who was your nurse?"

This question surprised the engineer. "Uh…she was a tiny lil' thing. Blonde. Big hair. It actually kind of looks like cupcake frosting, actually."

McCoy groaned. "My God, was it my head nurse?"

"Christine Chapel?" asked Selek.

"That's the one, Selek. You know that very well, don't you?"

Selek almost grinned. "I had to speak it as a question. The odds that there are many blonde—" He looked at Scotty with a raised eyebrow. "—tiny, and big-haired nurses employed in Starfleet."

Scotty ducked his head and chose to ignore the question. "I don' remember her name, lads. But she did hand me my new diet restrictions." He ignored McCoy's chuckle.

_He looked at his ordered new diet. As he went down the list of acceptable foods, he grew a little sadder and sadder. _

_No sandwiches. Not a single one…_

_No hearty stews…_

_No coffee allowed... _

…_No _alcohol!

_He might not have had the use of his jaw, but he could still use a stylus! He grabbed it right out of the nurse's petite hand and circled the forbidden foods, then drew an arrow to what he proceeded to scratch in the empty space. Then, he thrust it back at her. _

_And she had the nerve to giggle. _

"_It's not that bad, lieutenant commander," she tried to reassure. "And it certainly isn't…" She glanced at his writing. "…the unjust boiling pits of hell." She handed the padd back to him. "It's just a soft diet. Just look what you still _can_ eat." _

_He humored her and ended up groaning at some of the listed items. There was no way he was going to go from nice chunky stews to couscous. No way. Mashed potatoes seemed fine. What the blessed scotch bottle was quinoa? Probably shouldn't risk it. Eggs…really scrambled. Okay. Meatloaf and pies with really ground meats. That was promising. Fruit juices. He hated applesauce. No. He drew a line through it on the padd. It was the dessert options that gave him a little hope for survival. Smoothies, cream pies, custards, and ice cream! _

_But then he looked over the list of forbidden items again and just got sad. _

_He scratched a note to the nurse. _How long do I have to eat like this?

_She leaned over and looked at it. She was close enough to smell her perfume. She smelled like a cupcake. _

"Definitely Chapel. I hate that damn perfume."

"I think she smells nice," added Pike. "Wish Number One smelled like cupcakes." A dirty grin spread on his face.

McCoy looked at him in horror. "Wait, you and Number One?"

Scotty frowned at McCoy, as he began to devour another bowl of ice cream that he seemed to pull from the air. "Doctor McCoy, everyone knows that."

But McCoy was simply confused. "Is it an unwritten rule or something that the captain and first officer of this ship have to be…"

Pike shrugged his shoulders. "That would mean that when Number One took her ground assignment that I had to sleep with her replacement and, well, I never slept with Spock, so you're not quite right there." He turned to look back at Kirk and Spock, who were still sitting at their former table. They were both invading each other's personal space obscenely, and playing with each other's fingers, Spock's dark eyes shining in the same affection that was clearly displayed on the human's facial expression. "Think Kirk would've killed me if I had anyway."

"He respects you far too much to commit homicide, but his jealousy would run rampant," Selek remarked.

"Back to Chapel!" barked McCoy, still unwilling to watch his best friend get sappy with the person that almost publicly killed him on the bridge once. "I know she smells like cupcakes, so she had to have treated you at Starfleet Med."

Scotty ignored what the doctor was trying to say. "She told me I had to eat it for at least three to four months."

_He was about to leave for the transport to Delta Vega. He could just picture Archer's smug face as the man leaned back in his plush office chair, in the comfortable heat, just imagining the fate of the man that accidentally (and it hadn't even been proven that he had) killed his prized beagle. He was about to freeze his ass off on that waste of an outpost. Why Starfleet thought it was necessary to even develop that was beyond Scotty's comprehension. _

_Probably to send people there for offenses that they couldn't discharge them from the Fleet, or send them off to a penal colony. _

_Either way, Delta Vega seemed as close as you could get. _

_He was about to leave his little quarters. He had his effects packed. He packed all of the warm clothing he owned. It wasn't like he had any sort of shop there if he needed anything. And he knew very well that supply ships only came once every six months, which meant only one drop-off would arrive during his stay. He would depart the planet upon the arrival of the second supply ship which supposedly would also contain his replacement. A whole year on Delta Vega. _

_A whole year on Delta Vega, with some guy named Keenser – who'd already been there for a few months now, and no possibility of enjoying a sandwich for a huge length of his stay. He hoped this Keenser wasn't a talker, because he could barely do that yet. But he could hum, groan, moan, grunt his mood, which would have to do. _

_His luggage compartment with his effects was already on the way to the transport ship. All he had to do was put his little pet in his cage before heading after his luggage. _

_He hummed merrily as he began to nudge the fluffy thing into the wire cage to take it with him. The fluffy creature was seemingly fond of Scotty. It began to hum back at him as it made its way without protest into the waiting cage. When Cloudburst was happy, Scotty was happy. But when Cloudburst decided it was not having a good day, no one near him had a good day either. Today, however, they seemed to be speaking the same language._

_His chime rang as he was petting Cloudburst for being good going into the cage. That was odd. He wasn't expecting anyone. When he keyed the door to open, he was pleasantly surprised. It was the cute nurse that smelled like cupcakes. He waved at her. _

_She smiled and shook her head, before lifting up a small wrapped box. "Still can't talk very well?" Scotty shook his head. "That's okay." She shoved the box at him, leaving him no option but to take it. "I saw you were excited about ice cream being on your list of things you can eat so I got you this. I figured that on Delta Vega…You are being sent there, right?" He nodded at her. "Okay, I figured on Delta Vega, with all that snow, this might be useful for you." He tore off a tiny piece of the wrapper, and then looked at her, both eyebrows raised. His body language she could understand. "Oh no, you don't have to open it now. Actually, I'd rather you wait until I was gone so that I don't have to see you throw it out if you hate it or think it's stupid." _

_Scotty was even more curious about the wrapped item. He looked down at it for only a moment, but when he looked back up she was gone. He couldn't even thank her. He brought the box into his about-to-be-former quarters and set it down next to Cloudburst's cage. Cloudburst had gone quiet and was smashing itself up against the bars of the cage. It saw paper, and it wanted to eat it. _

_Scotty carefully removed the wrapping paper from the box and looked at the revealed item. The cupcake nurse had gotten him a small ice cream maker. _

"I can't believe this," whispered McCoy. "This actually happened?"

"Swear on my engines it happened, doctor," said Scotty. "An ice cream maker."

McCoy took a long drink before muttering, "Ridiculous."

Selek was the one to speak up after that. "I find it fascinating that Christine would be so outwardly friendly like you describe Mister Scott. In my timeline, she could have been considered standoffish. However, there was a time that my own Jim Kirk once described her as 'creepy,' but I digress. Do continue. I assume you had arrived on Delta Vega?"

Scotty nodded. "Turns out I would've died if she hadn' given that thing to me. The supply ship never came during Keenser's halfway period."

_He scribbled fiercely on the padd with his stylus before shoving it at the diminutive green alien standing moodily in front of him. _What do you mean there's no food here? How in the name of plasma coils am I supposed to survive without food?

_Keenser accepted the padd, read it quickly and verbally replied. "I'm fine, even with the supply ship never coming." _

_Scotty ripped the padd out of the other male's grip viciously. _What do you eat then? One mouthful is a meal for you?

_Keenser's reply was even quicker. "Yes. I need very little food to survive. It's called rationing." _

_Scotty was practically bristling. He wished so badly that he could scream at this annoying little creature. He'd take an entire day locked up with a screaming, pissed off Cloudburst than a single conversation with this…whatever species he was! _I've been put on a diet by Starfleet Medical! I need certain foods!

_The shorter male looked at him challengingly. "Like what?" _

_Scotty pulled up his dietary requirements file. _This! We better have most of this!

_Keenser gestured for Scotty's stylus. He began scratching things off the list, writing next to others, and circling one or two. When he'd made a note for every single item, he returned the stylus and the padd to the human. Scotty looked at it, and suddenly was convinced he was going to die on Delta Vega. There was a sentence written next to the list. _

We have a ton of those protein nibs. They should work as meal substitutes for a long time for your human body.

_Scotty glared at Keenser. "I can't process those things, so you can have all of them. I'm sorry."_

_The engineer sighed. Suddenly, he realized he was taking out his silent anger on someone that didn't deserve it. He quickly scribbled one word on the padd before handing it to Keenser. _Thanks.

_Keenser offered a shy smile. Scotty smiled back as best he could. _

"That's his name?" asked McCoy. "Been treating him all this time and I never knew his name? Damnit."

Selek was chuckling very softly to himself. "Mister Scott, I am only now beginning to understand why you were upset when I arrived with Jim at the outpost and we told you we were not your replacements."

Scotty shook his head. "Six months, Selek. Six months of protein nibs. I don't wish that on anyone!"

Pike held up a hand. "Wait, so, you survived on protein bars the entire time?"

"Almost."

But Pike didn't seem to hear him. "Someone needs to tell Fleet the supply ships have to come every two months or something. That is ridiculous."

It was Selek who once again kept the engineer talking. "You did not cover why you enjoy ice cream so much, yet, Mister Scott."

Scotty nodded. "That answer's simple."

_It was only the first week and he was losing his mind. Luckily Cloudburst had no interest nor intention of eating the protein nib wrappers. Instead, his little fluffball had dragged the first two right into his cage and proceeded to make a little nest out of them. After Scotty realized what he was up to, he gave the wrappers to his little tribble, who just built them up, smashed them down until they were comfy enough, and then settled down in the mass of wrappers every night, sometimes burrowing in the pile. But Scotty always knew he was there by the contented little trilling coming from the shivering pile of wrappers in the cage. _

_But while Cloudburst was perfectly content with the protein wrappers, Scotty was most certainly not! It was a huge challenge to even eat the things! He couldn't exactly bite into them. He had to cook them down, or blend them up with one of the frozen fruit juice concentrates he had to thaw out and make. And protein bars with fruit juice was not exactly appetizing. _

_He was in the midst of this process when Keenser came up to him. "What is this?" _

_Scotty turned and saw the alien holding his ice cream maker. It was like the holy grail in that frozen outpost! He snatched it from Keenser and ran down the hall towards the huge door leading outside. Keenser, from the sound of his pursuing footsteps, was following at a surprisingly close pace. "What is it?" he shouted to Scotty. _

"_My salvation!" replied the human. _

"You made ice cream, didn't you? Using the snow from outside, you made ice cream?" Pike was shaking his head in disbelief.

"Aye. Snow, with some juice concentrates, and whatever dairy Keenser can' eat. Luckily, that turned out to be yogurt. We had lots of that left. Aye. I made ice cream."

"You were always clever at finding unusual solutions, Mister Scott." Selek looked at him fondly. "Almost as clever as my Jim."

Scotty gave him a grateful smile. "My luck ran out, though, Mister Selek."

"When?" asked McCoy.

"Three days before I had some unexpected visitors."

"_I can't do this anymore, Keenser. I just can't!" Scotty shouted. _

"_There's nothing else but some rice from last night, and—"_

_He knew he was throwing a tantrum that would give a spoiled child a run for his credits, but he was beyond caring. "I refuse to go back to the protein nibs! Eaten them for three days now and I can' do it anymore!" He threw himself into his chair. He heard Cloudburst shuffling around the cage. "Can' even make ice cream anymore! Wouldn't have made it this long without that ice cream maker! And now…all I can make is icy-blasts! That's it! No flavor, no smoothness. Nothing!" Now he was whining. He leaned back, threw his feet up onto his workstation, and lowered his hat over his eyes. "Should just embrace the idea that Archer sent me here to die!" _

_Keenser sighed. "We'll figure something out, Scott." _

_Scotty huffed. "Death." _

_Keenser shifted his weight. "You could always eat Cloudburst…" _

_He didn't even look. He grabbed the nearest tool and threw it in Keenser's general direction. "I'd probably eat you first, no offense. More meat on you." _

_Keenser groaned, picked up the tool Scotty obviously missed him with, and then walked away. Scotty must have fallen asleep shortly after that. But he hadn't been sleeping long. Keenser must have been back and he woke him up. "What?" Then, he saw two new faces standing in front of him. It was an odd pair of replacements. A geriatric Vulcan and a rather young human male. No. "Do you realize how unacceptable this is?" was the way he decided to greet the newcomers. Little did he know he had just met his ticket off of Delta Vega. _

"I suppose I should thank you for that, by the way," Scotty said, nudging Selek with his elbow.

"Geriatric?" Selek replied, trying to look offended at the term and failing splendidly.

"Just how old are you?" asked McCoy.

"Let us agree that I am old. Quite old. However, I am not feeble."

Everyone nodded.

It was at that moment that a very, very happy looking teenager bounded over to them. He was so pleased with himself that he didn't even care that he was interrupting. "Sank you wery, wery much for coming to my birthday party!"

Everyone couldn't help but chuckle. "You're welcome, squirt," said McCoy before clapping Chekov on the back firmly. "Enjoy it?"

"Yes! The ice cream cake vas delicious! Did you all haf some?"

Everyone looked uncomfortable for just a moment, before Scotty saved them all. "I stole theirs right from under their noses, laddie! Never had a chance to have it."

"Zat vasn't nice, Scotty!" pouted Chekov. "And there is none left." Then, his mood brightened. "Next year, yes?" He looked around the little group with his big eyes lit up with childlike hope.

"You bet," replied McCoy with much more enthusiasm than he felt.

The answer pleased the birthday boy enough, though. "Ve'll get bigger cake so eweryone can haf some." He pointed at Scotty. "And you get one piece only! One!"

Scotty shrugged his shoulders. "They better be faster next time."

"Ugh!" shouted Chekov. His attention went back to the other three men. "Sank you for coming Admiral…and Selek! You are the friendliest Wulcan I ewer met!"

"Most kind, Mister Chekov." Pike simply nodded at the boy.

McCoy gave Chekov a friendly shove. "Go finish your rounds, now, kiddo. You have alpha shift tomorrow."

Chekov groaned. "I know…" He wandered away from the table, making his way over to Hikaru Sulu and Yeoman Rand.

"That kid will keep this crew young," McCoy thought aloud.

"He will indeed," confirmed Selek.

A polite cough next to him made McCoy turn. It was Nyota Uhura. "Can I help you?"

She looked nervous. "There's a communication for you, Leonard."

Everyone's eyebrows shot up at that. McCoy knew suddenly she was about to talk about something way different than ship's business. "From who?"

"She says she's your daughter."

The color drained from McCoy's face. "Is…is her name Johanna?"

Nyota nodded slowly. "I told her I had to find you and asked her to wait while I got you for her."

Leonard shot up out of his chair. "Is she still holding?"

"Yes."

"On a private channel?"

"I can arrange that."

He suddenly felt shaky on his feet. "Can…can you—"

She understood what he couldn't say aloud. He was asking for help. "Would you like me to go with you?" McCoy looked like he was terrified and at the same time overwhelmed with emotion. He nodded. "Okay, let's go." He latched onto her elbow tightly, leaning heavily on her, and let her take him to a private communications console. For the first time in his life, Leonard McCoy needed someone else to be strong for him. Nyota Uhura never expected it to be her that would help him.

Selek, Admiral Pike, and Scotty watched him leave with Uhura. "I hope it goes well."

"I think we all do," Pike murmured.

Selek's gaze caught a flash of blonde across the room. He turned his observant gaze to Scotty and saw that he had seen the same large hairstyle he had. "Mister Scott, is that the tiny nurse that you described to us moments ago?"

Scotty nodded slowly. "Aye," he whispered.

Pike knew what Selek was up to. He reached over and poured another generous glass of Scotch for the engineer. "Well, Montgomery Scott," he said, sliding the glass towards the younger man. "Some liquid courage should help you out, I think."

Scotty bit his lower lip. "I dunno, gentlemen. She can' remember me."

At that moment, the blonde looked up and saw their odd little group. She was standing next to Chekov and Sulu. With her gaze still in their direction, she spoke to the other men. Selek clearly heard the conversation and the response that Sulu gave her. His suspicion that the nurse that had given Scotty his ice cream maker was this same woman was confirmed when her reaction was both shock and pleasure. Selek turned to Scotty with a knowing twinkle in his eye. "I would advise you to consume your beverage now before it is to late."

Scotty looked up just in time to see the blonde take her first step in their direction. Quickly, he grabbed the Scotch and drained it in one impressive swig. He had just put the glass down when she reached their group.

"Lieutenant Commander Scott?" she asked. "I…I didn't think I'd ever see—"

"There's somethin' I need to know 'bout ye, lassie," he interrupted. Before she could even reply he carried on. "Yer name."

Her smile was radiant. "Christine. Christine Chapel."

"Christine," he tested the name. "I've been wantin' to say this to ye fer a long time now."

"Yes?"

Scotty took a deep breath. "Thank ye fer the ice cream maker. It saved my life on Delta Vega." She looked surprised and pleased all at once. "I kept it ye know. The supply ship ne'er came and all I could make was ice cream fer a while, before I ran outta things to put in it. So…"

Christine came around the makeshift bar and walked right up to Scotty. She smiled at him. "You're welcome, Montgomery," she said, testing out his first name. He smiled at her and it was all the permission she needed. She quickly gave him a kiss on his cheek.

Scotty blushed, then offered his arm. She took it, and he began to lead her out of the party, quietly asking her if she was aware that she smelled like the most delicious cupcakes.

Selek and Pike exchanged a glance. "I honestly wasn't expecting that," admitted Pike.

"Nor was I," Selek agreed.

By unspoken agreement, they both turned toward the young captain and first officer. The way his younger counterpart was holding Kirk's face was a familiar gesture to Selek, but it was obviously unfamiliar to Pike, especially when he asked, "That is significant, I'm assuming?"

Selek nodded. "Indeed. Spock is touching Kirk's psi points in order to join their minds in what is called a mind-meld. It is a very intimate experience for a Vulcan, a total removal of all shields and emotional suppression."

Pike stared at his two protégés. "Wow. Again, especially considering how those two met, I wasn't exactly expecting this to happen."

"I had hope for its occurrence. I am pleased that they have acknowledged their pull towards each other."

Pike studied Selek for a long time. "Isn't hope, or any feeling for that matter, illogical to Vulcans?"

Selek half-smiled at the other version of his first captain. "My bondmate would often remind me that I am half-human. And as such, I had to express my feelings…sometimes. There was one such instance when he insisted that at times a feeling was all that humans had to go on. When I encountered this Jim Kirk, and I realized how unanchored he was, I had hoped that he would find his anchor in my other self. It was my hope that Spock would remain in Starfleet rather than leave with the Vulcan refugees to their new settlement. He too was missing an anchor. I hoped that he would find that in this Jim."

Pike watched as Spock and Kirk, while still deeply engrossed in the mind-meld, drifted towards each other and joined their lips as their minds were joined. He remembered both of them being so turbulent so unhinged. But together they were peaceful, fluid, and solid. It was just as Selek had hoped – they anchored each other. Then, he looked at Selek. "Your anchor was the Jim Kirk from your time, wasn't it?"

Selek nodded. "He was. I miss him deeply."

"What happened to him?"

Selek sighed quietly. "He was lost to me for nearly one hundred years to a temporal anomaly from which he could not be retrieved. But, as he had before, he found a way to solve his inescapable situation, only to perish. Alone. I felt him die and I am forever grieved that I was not present to ease him, to comfort him, in the time of his death. There were many things I was never…I had believed I had many more years remaining to enjoy his company. I did not tell him enough of my affection for him." He saw Pike's expression. He knew he was reaching the man. "I wish that I could tell Jim how much I very much love him. A Vulcan would tell me it is illogical to wish that, that I cannot alter what has come to pass, but my experience in coming to this time convinces me of the opposite." He nodded to his counterpart, just barely hearing the soft declaration of affection he spoke to Kirk in his native Vulcan tongue, and Kirk quietly asking what it meant. "But before my eyes I see a reality in which a Jim Kirk will not doubt his mate's affection."

Pike nodded solemnly. "I know how you feel a little bit. I never tell Number One enough, either. I really should." He looked at Spock and Kirk, then back to Selek. He suddenly realized how bittersweet it must be to see a version of his mate and watch another with him. Pike took a deep breath. "Selek, I'm so sorry."

"There is no need for your sorrow, Admiral. I have adjusted well enough."

"Call me Christopher."

Selek nodded in acceptance. "As you wish, Christopher."

Pike cleared his throat. "You know, Spock and I used to play chess sometimes off duty. Do you play, Selek?"

Selek actually smiled. "I do indeed."

With a touch, Pike activated his chair. "Walk with me, Selek. I know where we can locate a decent board."

With a last glance back, Selek left his counterpart to care for Kirk, secure in the knowledge that his hope had been fulfilled. "Live long and prosper, t'hylara," he whispered to them, knowing that only Spock would hear him.

As he departed from the remnants of the concluding birthday party, he heard Spock ask Kirk from across the room, "May I explain to you the Vulcan term t'hy'la?"

**End Note:** _Thanks for reading. Hope everyone enjoyed it. Leave a review to let me know what you all think, but please, keep your flames to yourself. It is neither helpful nor called for. Thank you! ~ RK _


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